Ruffed Grouse Travel Through Time

I’m having a hard time getting my mind around this one.

Reasearchers at the University of the Canadian Shield have discovered that ruffed grouse can fly (fly?) forwards and backwards through time. Ornithology post-doc Jesse Fend explains, “I was following grouse tracks in the woods and they stopped abruptly. Of course! The grouse took off! And I started to wonder: If you’re tracking a grouse in flight, could it also ‘take off’ from there? It’s a logical extension, right? We know they can go from two dimensions into three. Why not from three dimensions into four?”

To test her hypothesis, Fend attached radio trackers to a number of grouse. “At that point, I simply had to wait for the trackers to blink on and off. And sure enough: If a grouse unexpectedly vanishes, it always reappears later at that same X,Y,Z position. If a grouse unexpectedly appears, it always vanishes later at that same X,Y,Z position.”

Any idea why grouse always time-travel while flying and never while walking?

She laughs. “Have you ever seen a grouse take flight? They jump up and show you their asshole, eh? Well, when we’ve caught grouse appearing and disappearing from flight, they show their assholes then too. It seems to be a requirement for going up a dimension. Asshole, then time-travel! How punk is that?”

Well, yeah.

via Mikinaak

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_{Inspected by 9973 and verified false at time of posting.}